Day 16 - A Song That Makes You Cry (or nearly)

This is my heart.  I long to adopt a child (or 2...or 3).  I'm still waiting, Lord. I would love to be able to live out the gift given to me by my Father by adopting a child into our family and helping them to see the incredible gift given by God: His love and the price He paid to make us His children.

Day 15 - Your Dream Home

My dream home is difficult to describe.  I recognize that a house does not make a home.  A place does not make a home.  The old adage says, "Home is where the heart is."  And in light of that I wish I could sound all spiritual and say that my home is just fine because I have my family around me, and that I have all I need.  And I guess that is true in some ways.  I am thankful to still have my husband with me.  I am thankful the Lord blessed us with a wonderful child.  I am thankful the Lord has provided all of our needs and then some.  And yet to say that I am completely content would be a lie.  I feel guilty that I am not completely content with all the Lord has given me.  And yet, I long for a house nestled in the midst of some mountains where I can see the mountains that I long for every day.  Reds, oranges, and golds all around me as the crisp air of fall descends into the valley.  Snow scattering the ground on cold mornings when my breath turns into mist that curls through the air.  Apples and pumpkins and hay rides in the chilly night air.  A stream that meanders across our property that I can lay next to during the heat of summer and listen to it gurgle, or that Sammy and I can sit dangling our feet in the cool water.  My heart longs for this with an ache I cannot explain.  Whenever we visit the mountains, I cry when we leave.  I know I need to learn to be content where God has me for now, and for the most part, I am, but the longing never goes away.  And all I can do is pray that one day, the Lord will grant me this desire of my heart.

Day 14 - A Non-Fictional Book

This is the book that I am in the middle of reading right now, and this book has touched me in more ways than I could even count.  Mary Beth has been incredibly honest about her struggles, not just with losing Maria, but also with the ways that she has struggled throughout her life in giving up her plans and her will to surrender to God's.  I see myself in so many pages in this book and have been asking the Lord to help me to choose to see the ways that He is working in my life that are for my good even if they aren't what I would choose and to stop fighting Him when He begins working in my heart.  I look back on my life, and I see so many times when the Lord has begun to do a work in my heart that I have come out swinging.  I don't want to do that anymore.  I want surrender to be my first reaction, not my last.  There is so much HOPE in these pages filled with confessions and tears that our God is not distant, that He is ever near, that His love is far surpassing anything and everything that we could ever imagine.  So I would recommend this book to be read by anyone who struggles with trusting God even when you can't SEE where He is leading.

Day 13 - A Fictional Book

I already mentioned "The Pilgrim's Progress" in my favorite books, so I won't mention it again.  I will instead mention my favorite Christian author of fiction and two books she has written that are excellent and well worth reading.

Francine Rivers has written both "The Last Sin Eater" and "The Atonement Child".  These books are very thought provoking and help the reader to think of some issues from a different perspective.  The picture of God's love for us in both of these books is awe-inspiring and tear-stimulating.

Day Twelve - Something You Are OCD About

Sorry, I skipped eleven...I don't have one.  Those who know me well know the pictures of me are VERY few and far between.

On to what I am OCD about...the biggest thing I would have to admit would be my dishwasher.  Everything has its own specific place in the dishwasher, and I get very testy if it is put in the wrong spot (just keeping it real).  I have had to learn in someways to let go of it because if I want Terry to help me wash the dishes occasionally, I can't be a jerk about it, but it is difficult.  I mean, even in the silverware holder, each utensil has its own slot: small spoons in one, big forks in another, table knives and serrated knives separated into their own compartments.  Believe it or not, there is method to my madness...mostly, it makes it easier to put them away.  All I have to do is grab them and put them in their slot in the drawer.  No having to separate them first, that is already done!  Makes perfect sense to me!

Day Ten - A Photo of Me Taken Over 10 Years Ago

Me at 17.  Whew...that was a long time ago...17 years ago to be exact.  Where has time gone?

Day Nine - A Picture You Took

I took this picture on our impromptu visit to Virginia in 2008 in the middle of our uncertainty over Terry's cancer.  We were amazed to see a rainbow against a blue sky.  That seems impossible, and yet there it was...  A moment of hope and awe in the midst of fear and uncertainty.  It was another reminder of God's love and kindness to us, His children.

Legalism or Grace?

"And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all."  Hebrews 10:10

"Rigid adherence to a list of do's and don'ts appeals to our pride and self-sufficiency by fostering the myth that if we work hard enough we can earn God's favor.  That's fear-based thinking, and "God has not given us a spirit of fear" (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).  "There is no fear in love...fear has to do with punishment" (1 John 4:18 NIV).  Legalism is fear that God isn't big enough to forgive your sins, that unless you do the right thing in the right way at the right time - and do it perfectly - you're in trouble.  Jon Walker writes: "That's a lie with the smell of hell all over it!  When we fear making mistakes we become timid, and limit ourselves from living abundantly.  We let...analysis permeate our decisions as we lead quiet, desperate, anti-faith lives, afraid to move with the bold confidence that grace gives us to walk in uncertainty...unafraid of rejection."  Speaking against works-based religion, Martin Luther said, "Be a sinner and let your sins be strong, but let your trust in Christ be stronger...rejoice in Christ...the victor over sin."  No, Luther wasn't excusing sin!  He was restoring grace to its rightful place, affirming that nothing can separate us from God's love (See Romans 8:38-39).  He wasn't downgrading the law, he was upgrading grace.  Grace means talking to God and listening for His voice when it would be easier to just consult the rule book.  The truth is, when "[Jesus] entered...heaven...to appear...before God on our behalf" (Hebrews 9:24 NLT), He freed us to have a relationship with Him without fear of sin separating us."

Day Eight - A Photo that Makes You Sad / Angry

In contrast to the picture yesterday, this is a reminder of the most frightening time in my life.  Terry was still going through chemo at the time I took this picture, and I have never seen him look so tired or pale.  I can only pray that we never have to go through this again, but it is a constant fear hanging over me.

Day Seven - A Photo that Makes You Happy

This is one of my absolute favorite pictures, of my two favorite people in the whole world.  And it is a reminder of things before fear and pain came in...when things were simpler.

Day Six - 20 of My Favorite things

1. Jesus Christ, my Savior who took my sins and suffered for them and gave me His righteousness in return. Grace is a GREAT word!

2. My wonderful husband, Terry. He is a blessing to me in so many ways. I don’t know what I would do without him.

3. My precious Sammy. Precocious, adventurous, goofy, funny, and an absolute joy.

4. My marvelous Mom. She has always been there for me even when she didn’t understand who I was or what I was doing.

5. My fantastic friends! I am so blessed to have so many great friends!

6. My extended family. The Lord has blessed me with many people that I consider family, though we do not share any genetic ties.

7. Being able to encourage others.

 

8. Seeing God move in my life and the lives of those I love.

9. Singing

10. Reading

11. Writing

12. Talking on the phone or chatting online.

13. Mountains ( I REALLY want to live in the mountains!)

14. Fall

15. Photography

16. Food

17. Vacations

18. Every step closer we get to being out of debt.

19. Cookbooks

20. Simple things

A warm cup of coffee on a cold night

Lavender

Roses

Sitting in front of a fire

Cozy sweaters

Sunsets ( In general, but especially over the mountains)

30 day Blog Journal: Day Five - My Favorite Quote

"I've resolved to give God everything I've got and leave the results up to Him." Coach Grant Taylor from “Facing the Giants”


As promised, this is my favorite quote. This quote has caused me to think about so much in my life, so many things that I have struggled to make come to pass, only to fail again and again. So many things I’ve wanted to change, only to see them continue to go in a direction that I did not wish. I meditate on this a lot…the need to give God EVERYTHING…my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my family, everything…and then to trust Him to bring about His will in His timing, as long as I commit everything to Him and do things His way.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."  Proverbs 3:5-6

My family

Terry's cancer coming back

My Mom

My desire to adopt

Where we live

Day Four - My Favorite Book

To say that I love to read would be an incredible understatement. Reading has been something I have done for enjoyment for as long as I can remember. When I sit down with a book, it is very hard to put it down. I can get so engrossed in reading that I will lose all track of time, which, when you have a family isn’t a good thing. So, I have to learn to practice self control with my reading. That isn’t always easy.

Once again, I can’t pick just one…I love the Bible because it is still just as relevant today as it was 2000 years ago. People in the Bible experienced the same struggles, triumphs, heartaches, and fears that I do. And the Lord has blessed us in giving us His Word to lead us and guide us in our life experiences.

I also love “The Pilgrim’s Progress” by John Bunyan. I have found so many truths in this allegory that have been evident in my own life, and seeing how Christian and Christiana struggled thru even their own failures to come out strong in faith and a testimony to the faithfulness of the only One who never fails.

One of the books that has been most recently added to my favorites list is “Experiencing God” by Henry Blackaby, Richard Blackaby, and Claude King. This book has blessed me in so many ways and helped me to see the many ways that I was experiencing God’s work in my life when I didn’t even realize it.

The second recent addition has helped me so much in the trials and struggles I have experienced in the past year. Robert J. Morgan took a fresh look at how the Lord moved for the Israelites by the Red Sea and came up with ten “rules” for helping believers through trials and difficulties in this life: “The Red Sea Rules”.

Day Three - My Favorite TV program

Okay, I have to admit, we don’t watch what you would call “regular” TV. We have Sky Angel so that we can make sure that most of our TV choices will be edifying and Christ-centered. As a family, we usually watch programs like “Wretched – with Todd Friel”, “Answers in Genesis”, “Origins”, and a few movies and things. Terry has his own programs that he likes which include the “American Heritage Series” with David Barton, and he also likes to watch Glenn Beck. For me, if it comes to the program that I could watch over and over, I would have to say “Laugh with the Skit Guys”. I LOVE the Skit Guys! Tommy Woodard and Eddie James are hilarious, and on top of being incredibly creative and hysterically funny, they really have a way of bringing spiritual issues to light to cause you to really think about them. I like “Bananas” too, but the Skit Guys are my favorite!

Day Two - My Favorite Movie

Okay…this one is easy. My favorite movie of all time is “Facing the Giants”. There are a lot of other movies that I like in a lot of different genres, but “Facing the Giants” is the only one that I can watch over and over and over again, and still get something new out of it every time! I NEVER get tired of watching it. Maybe it is the fact that I relate to Grant Taylor’s struggle with fear and feeling like a failure. Or maybe it is the fact that I SO relate to Brooke’s desperate desire for a child, and the miracle of having one where it didn’t seem possible. Or maybe it is just that I like football!!! I guess it is just everything fit together in one perfect package that makes up my favorite movie of all time. Oh, and it also has one of my favorite quotes in it…but I guess that is for another day. :-)