Because you are lukewarm

I have felt lukewarm today. We watched a movie today called "Bamboo in Winter" about the persecution of the church in China and how they press on to spread the good news even with the threats of torture and death. My niece who is living with us, asked me what they were being tortured for and was dumbfounded that it was because they believe in Jesus and preach His name. That is all they are doing...and yet their lives hang in the balance every day. I told her, in this country it is so easy to say you are a Christian...so easy to claim the name of Christ, but we don't have to fear it costing our lives. We don't have to worry about being raided when we meet with other believers. It is so easy for us to meet with other Christians that I think in someways we tend to disdain that privilege...That's right I said a privilege to meet with other believers and encourage them in the faith. But I digress... I wonder if faith is REAL if it hasn't really been tested. I mean, I know that the Lord led us through Terry's cancer, and I am thankful for that...but if it was a loaded gun pushed into my face and I had to choose my physical life or admit that I believe in Jesus Christ, that He is the Savior of the world and that He died for my sins; I wonder sometimes what I would do. I know what I HOPE I would do, but sometimes I wonder.

In thinking of that this evening, my niece has been watching one of her friend's little girl. This little girl since she found out that her mom was on her way has continually gone to each one of us again and again proclaiming, "Mommy's coming! Mommy's coming!" What I said to Terry is that this two-year-old child has a better idea of evangelism than I do sometimes. We should be like that...we should be going up to everyone we can with our hearts full of excitement proclaiming, "Jesus is coming! He's coming soon! Believe in Jesus and live!" I feel like I have been spending a lot of my time just focused on living my life. In my head I say that my treasure is not here, but really, I wonder. In my head I say all the right things, but do the actions of my life bear out what I say I believe? Does my life bear fruit showing that Christ is EVERYTHING to me, that I believe He is coming soon, and that there are many people in my own life that are still overcome by their sins with no hope of freedom from them? Or am I just hiding my complacency behind perfectly crafted words of zeal?